29.01.2007, 15:01
Ich hab mir in meinen ersten Boards ne Menge Kritik eingefangen über die zwei Stücke da oben. Kein IP,
etc.
Etwas später dann dieser Versuch einer Replik:
I placed my turrets and did like them much
too much to think about the builders plan,
some syllables and lines, no cane can can
my playful dreams. But no: they said a crutch
was sorely needed, cause my iambic touch
had lots of feet left out, no “also ran”,
so we walked back, I and my glowing tan.
Tomatoes, eggs, tabasco, briny sludge
helped clear my head, but in this no mans land
a voice called, “Build again, invite the ocean
to play with castles and with flags galore
just watch the surf, the cultivated motion
of roller-coasters washing to the shore
and write again with better, second hand.
etc.
Etwas später dann dieser Versuch einer Replik:
I placed my turrets and did like them much
too much to think about the builders plan,
some syllables and lines, no cane can can
my playful dreams. But no: they said a crutch
was sorely needed, cause my iambic touch
had lots of feet left out, no “also ran”,
so we walked back, I and my glowing tan.
Tomatoes, eggs, tabasco, briny sludge
helped clear my head, but in this no mans land
a voice called, “Build again, invite the ocean
to play with castles and with flags galore
just watch the surf, the cultivated motion
of roller-coasters washing to the shore
and write again with better, second hand.
Never sigh for a better world it`s already composed, played and told